if you looking from some great funny status you will come in a good place here we have some all time collection of funny status that you will enjoy and you can also use for whatsapp status,facebook post & instagram caption.

Best funny status for whatsapp status ,facebook post & instagram caption

• I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

• 80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having brain.

• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

• I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

• The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”.

• The most debateable topic in are NEET & IIT

• If i have a power to ran this world then i give salary to student because their is no any torcher like study

• If you can’t convince them, confuse them
• Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.
• I can handle pain until it hurts.
• Even fools seem smart when they are quiet
• “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
• If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.
• Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
• A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
• If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
• Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an exampl

best funny status for whatsapp [2019]

•  God is really creative , I mean ..just look at me.

• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.

• I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.

• Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

• I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side now.

• Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

• I am not stubborn, I am just always right.

• Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

• I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.

• For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.

• The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

• As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools.

• When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.

best funny whatsapp status in english

• women is a mystery which still not solved

• sunday is the bestest of my whole life

• life is belong for only two things FOOD &SLEEP

• Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed. 

• Where there is a will, there are 100

• I need 6 months’ vacation, twice a year.

• If you can’t convince them, confuse them

• Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.

• I can handle pain until it hurts.

• Even fools seem smart when they are quiet

• “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

• If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

• Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

• A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

• If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

• Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.

funny staus for whatsapp status [2019]

• Take my advice — I’m not using it.

• I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.

• My job is secure. No one else wants it.

• For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.

• Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.

• My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.

• A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

• Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

• My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.

• hufff life boring without sleeping
• I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

• Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

• I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation… twice a year.

• I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

• I need Google in my brain.

• I like to hang out with people that make me forget to look at my phone.

• I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?

• I started out with nothing and i still have most of it.

funny status for facebook post [2019]

• I love my job only when I am on vacation

• Don’t Live Your Life on Assumptions!! They are Best kept for Physics and Maths!!

• If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now.

• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

• Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.

• It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative.

• The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*

• Life is Short – Chat Fast!

•  I Wonder What Happens When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day…

• Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

• People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…

• A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

• My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

• Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

• If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂

• The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.

• Light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak

• true friend don’t judge each other . they judge other people

• all my life i thought air was free..until i bought a bag of chips.

• I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

• 80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having brain.

• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

• I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

• The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”.18.

• we all have that friend who says i’ll be there around 7 and then shows up around 9

• My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

• I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.

• I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

• You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it…

• Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped..

• C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping

• Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

• If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

• Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

• If common sense is so common why is there so many people without it??

• I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

• I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi…

best funny status for instagram caption [2019]

• The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”

• Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you”d ordered that.

• If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.

• The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

• Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.

• I speak two languages, Body and English.

• How can I miss something I never had?

• I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.

• Kiss me and you will see how important I am.

• If you can’t find the key to success, change the damn lock.

• Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.

• Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want, men have to sleep with whoever lets them.

best whatsapp status in one line

• An ugly personality destroy a pretty face.

• I don’t need to explain myself because, I know I’m right.

• If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’.. It only means that you are ‘Above them’.

• People are like ‘MuSic’ some say the ‘TrUth’ and rest, just noise..

• When you care for someone, their happiness matters more than yours…!!

• Beauty is like Moon, looks much better at Night…

• The greatest pleasure in life is doing the things, people say you can’t

• The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

• Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want

• The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.

While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.

• Lovely days in my life: Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, Horrible days in my life: ONLY EXAM DAYS.

• Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear makeup and boys lie.

• If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS.

• Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpick?

• Sorry, I can’t hang out. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.

funny status on girl & boy in english [2019]

• Women only need 5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.

• Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.

• You and your rumors have two things in common, you’re both fake and you both get around.

• If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eye.

• I’m the person that the more you complain about me, the harder I’ll try to annoy you.

• Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left.

• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

• Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.

• If swimming is an exercise then why do whales are fat.

• “Always be true to yourself” because you only lie to others!

• You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.

• The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do.

• Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does.

• Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?

cool funny status for whatsapp status in english

• chilling is the best way then girlfriend

•  I’m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

• Style is a reflection of your attitude and personality.

• Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

• I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.

• Success is not easy and is certainly not for lazy.

• Every problem comes with some solution…If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s not a problem..!

• ‘Dream’ as if you’ll live forever.. Live as if tomorrow is last one…

• I wish I had ‘Google’ in my mind and ‘Anti-virus’ in my heart…

• Sometimes you need to maintain a distance to keep people close to you.

• I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.

• I wish I could record my dreams and watch them later…

• sleeping is better then having girlfriend.

• Some wise guy created Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature.

• I feel like I should clean the house, so I am going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes.

• People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow.

• People who write “u” instead of “you”. What do you do with all the time you save?

• Everything on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius.

• The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

• I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.

• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

• Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

• My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.

• I am so poor, I can’t even pay attention

• I have not failed, my success is just postponed for some time.

• One person’s LOL is another person’s WTF.

• I will be back before you pronounce afjkhnfknlfueufuancakhufhjcnk.

• Knowledge is like underwear, important to have, but not necessary to show off.

• Life is too short to update WhatsApp statuses.

hey, friends this is another status collection for your whatsapp status , facebook post & instagram caption or story

hope you will loved it. don’t foget to give you precious feedback

thanks to ..all

If you looking for Best confidence status in ENGLISH for whatsapp & facebook?scroll down now

we got some Best Whatsapp status on Confidence in Einglish for you.Use this confidence status for whatsapp or use confidence status for your facebook dp or use this confidence status for instagram caption.

Confidence status-best confidence whatsapp status in english {2019}

• You have to walk ‘alone’ to do something ‘big ‘

• You can love me or hate me but you will never change me

• I make my own way i don’t care whatever you say

• Always be one in a million not lost like other

• Be the game changer not just a player of the game

• Make your own path don’t follow others rules of life

• Always think big it will help you to do big

• Dreams are imagination that give you region to live

• Talent comes from exprience and exprience comes from bad expriences

• I ALWAYS MOVES FORWARD WITHOUT CAREING ABOUT ANY OBSTRACAL

Confidence status whatsapp in english,Confidence whatsapp status in english,confidence status for whatsapp in english

• Maybe i haven’t anything but i have will power to achive everything

• Be priceless not to be precious

• Life is a like a match were you never be lose until you give up

• Increase your value it will make unstoppable

• Always be knowledgeable not genius

• Failure is your only option to scuccessed in your life

• I run ,i slip, i bleed, but i never stop until i achive

• sometimes situation out of control you need to be strong

• Make your own crowed don’t join others

• Always be confidence and be inspiration for others who like you

• you have to fight yourself to get whatever you want

Confidence whatsapp status in english (2019) best confidence status for whatsapp status in english (2019)

• live every day like your last day of life it will make You unbeatable and inspirable

• Remember don’t foget that person who always demotivate you always says that you never achive anything your life.

• If you think that you are the only one in this world who face struggle then you have open your eyes .

• Life always gives you back to back punches its depend on you to get back in the ring and face it.

• A day comes in your when you have everything no matter whatever you want but nothing a bit of think to lose belive in you.

• Always remember that person who always support you,help you without any greed because they are ANGLE of your life.

• Life is too short to apologise don’t break heart of that person who love’s you a lot without any region.

• Always be like that person who comes with lots of happiness not like those who always spreading sadness

• Always live with HIGH HOPES you don’t even know how much they give you motivation and clarity of your vision.

• Im like that one who organise the race not like those whose always compete himself to others race.

• If you ask to lazy person that why did you not achive your dreams they give your hundreds of region.

• I don’t care that i bron poor all i care that i don’t wanna die poor its in me to change my reality to my dreams.

• If you ask to a successful person that how you get your dreams they tell you millions of region to give up but just for one region he get his dream.

• Don’t respect those who always tell you that they will help you in the future but didn’t do it.

• Never forget those who’s helps you in your hard times if you have that type of strength then its your turn to pay back.

• hard work is the key of success its true but not all the time you have to be smart to work hard to achive what you want.

• struggle is like a gloryfy stage of life which face some lucky person not everyone

• you have two roads to choose 1st gave you money and other gave you a exprience through which you get everything.

• every person wants to achive something big but very few of them do it.

• reality of your life is their is no any reality whatever you thing you became that type of person all depends on your imagination.

Best confidence with attitude whatsapp status for whatsapp status,facebook & instagram caption.

• I can’t trust someone who is friends with everyone.
• Fuck everyone, it’s just you in the end.
• If you don’t have big dreams you’ll end up working really hard for someone who does
• It’s not a problem if you always win
• You’re still going to get criticized, so you might as well do whatever the fuck you want
• People laugh at me because I am different and I laugh because they all are same.
• Jealousy is a terrible disease. Get well soon.
• Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.
• I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations.
• If you stumble, make it part of the dance.
• Treat me like a Queen and I’ll treat you like a king. 
  Treat me like a game, and i’ll show you how it’s played.
• If I was a bird, i know who I’d shit on.
• My BACK is not a VOICEMAIL, so better say it on my FACE.
• People always say that nothing is impossible. That’s not true. I do nothing every single day.
• An apple a day will keep just about anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

best confidence whatsapp status for whatsapp & facebook

• I just don’t care if anyone doesn’t like me I wasn’t put on earth to entertain everyone.
• The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.
• Don’t confuse my personality and my attitude because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU.
• Yes I am smiling but you are not the reason anymore.
• Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none.
• I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet.
• If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.

best confidence caption for instagram & facebook

• Reality is their is no any reality of life all depend on your imagination
• I will either find a way or make one.
• In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel.
• You are here to be you, not to live someone else’s life.
• He said to be cool but I’m already coolest.
• I am the greatest, I said that even before I was.
• I don’t like to take right decision, I take decisions and make them right.
• You were born to fit in. I was born to stand out.
• I’m only responsible for what I say not for what you understand.
• I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
• My attitude is based on the way you treat me.
• I hear them talking behind my back, atleast there is a reason why they are behind me.
• Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners
• The harder you fall, the higher you bounce
• Me versus me has always been my biggest fight.
• Work until one day your signature will be called an autograph.
• Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude?
• I don’t have haters, just fans in denial.
• He said to be cool but I’m already coolest.
• I am the greatest, I said that even before I was.
• I don’t like to take right decision, I take decisions and make them right.
• You were born to fit in. I was born to stand out.
• Love me or hate me I’m still gonna shine.
• I let my haters be my motivators.
• My middle finger salutes your attitude.
• I’m only responsible for what I say not for what you understand.
• What others think of me is none of my business.
• I’m not cranky. I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.
• If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
• It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
• How can i miss something i never had?
• I don’t want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.
• Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
• Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
• I’m an acquired taste. Don’t you like me? Maybe you should acquire some taste.
• My mother always told me: If you don’t have anything nice to say, then you better say it sarcastically.
• You reek of a headache and drama. Please stay away from me.
• The way you carry a style reflects your personality.
• I meant to burn down the Earth and Grafitti the Sky..!
• Glossier than you bitch.
• Beauty is only skin deep. Attitude is down to the bone.
• You can’t control what happens to you in life, but you can control your attitude towards it. By controlling your attitude, you’re mastering change, instead of letting change master you.
• Never interrupt me when I’m trying to ignore you.
• I ain’t fuckin reserved..yo bitches be ready to serve.
• Don’t follow your dreams, follow me
• Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring

confidence status for facebook

• Don’t let someone dim your light, simply because it’s shining in their eyes
• I don’t have time to hate anyone. I either love you, or I don’t care at all
• When people ask what I do. I say whatever it takes.
• In a room full of art you’d still stare at Me.
• I’m strong, I’m beautiful, I am enough.
• I would rather be strong because, Prettiness fades over time. But, strength gets you through bad shit..!
• Let me adjust my crown and get my day started.
• When life puts you in tough situations, don’t say “why me” say “try me”.
• I don’t snore. I dream I’m a motorcycle.
• When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It’s that simple.
• I’d rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.
• I’m not anti-social. I’m just anti-bullshit.
• I am not a hint taker. You need to speak the fuck up if you want me to know something.
• Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
• Love me or hate me but you will never change me.
• I received nothing I wanted, but I received everything I needed.
• People that aren’t used to quality always chase quantit

• “Everyone else is busy dating, breaking up and making up. I’m still trying to figure out how to wake up before 10 o’clock.”

• “I have one motto: Live the life you love, and love the life you live.”

• “All of the good and bad things that have happened in your life are only preparing for the moment that has yet to come.”

• “Every day is another chance to make a change in your life; a chance to be grateful for the things that you have.”

• “The only thing stopping you from fulfilling your dreams is you.”

• “Even the calendar says WTF after Monday and Tuesday.”

• “Everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones who are worth suffering for.”

• “Take a deep breath. Remember – it’s not a bad life; just a bad day.”

“Be kind to everyone you meet. You don’t know what struggles they’re facing.”

• “All of the problems that you face become smaller if you confront them instead of dodging them.”

• “My relationship status: Looking for a Wi-Fi connection.”

• “It’s not just the bad memories that make you sad, but the best ones that you know will never happen again.”

• “I love my job – when I’m on vacation.”

• “When people hate you for no reason, give them a reason.”

• “The biggest distance between two people is a misunderstanding.”

• “The greatest accomplishment you can make in life is to be yourself. The world is constantly trying to turn everyone into someone else.”

• “I look forward to the day when the power of love replaces the love of power.”

• “Your attitude is just as important as your skills when it comes to success.”

• “Never look back. You’re not going in that direction.”

• “Do everything with so much love and passion that you would never, ever want to do it any other way.”

• “I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life in three simple words: it goes on.”

• “Look for respect – not attention. It lasts so much longer.”

• “You can’t influence the world if you’re too busy trying to be like it.”

• “Today is a good day to be happy.”

• “There’s nothing like listening to a song and remembering all of the great memories that go with it.”

• “If you expect nothing, you will never be disappointed.”

• “My life’s mission: to be so busy loving my life that I have no time for fear, regret or hate.”

• “Good morning – it’s time to wake up and live.”

• “If you don’t chase your dreams, you can’t catch them.”

• “Know and remember that everything always works out in the end.”

• “I’m turning my fear into hope, and my mistakes into life lessons.”

• “Happiness is always an inside job. Don’t ever let anyone else have that much power over your own life.”

• “I’m not looking for someone to save me. All I want is for someone to stand by my side as I save myself.”

• “Don’t worry so much. Worrying will not rid tomorrow of its troubles, but strip today of all its joys.”

• “We will never be as young as we are tonight, so let’s live in the moment and forget about tomorrow.”

• “You can only be as good as the people around you. Be brave enough to remove people from your life who are holding you back.”

• “I really thought I was normal until I met my best friend.”

• “Let’s take a road trip with no destination. Just drive and see where the road takes us.”

• “Her heart finally told her that it’s time to stop wasting her time.”

• “Forgiveness will never erase or excuse their behavior. But it will stop it from destroying your heart.”

• “You really never know what you have – until you clean your room.”

• “Today, I decided to be happy. I heard it’s good for your health.”

• “We’re so focused on the finish line that we forget to enjoy the journey.”

• “Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take that moment and make it perfect.”

• “Move confidently towards your dreams. Don’t be afraid to live the life you’ve always wanted.”

• “It’s scary to make a big life change. But you know what’s even more frightening? Regrets.”

• “Life is too short to spend another beautiful day fighting a war with yourself.”

• “When you feel discouraged, take a moment to think about how far you’ve come in life.”

• “I hope that in 10 years from now, we’re still in each other’s lives.”

• “You can’t start reading the second chapter of your life if you’re too busy re-reading the last one.”

• “Never regret the mistakes you make. They’re proof that you’re trying.”

• “You may not get what you hope for, but you will always get what you work for.”

• “Sometimes, you just have to fight through those bad days to reach the best days of your life.”

• “I hope that your problems are as few and far apart as grandma’s teeth.”

• “Everyone wants to be happy. No one wants to deal with pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without at least a little rain.”

• “You can’t expect every day to be good, but you can find a little good in every day.”

• “Dance like no one is tagging your photos. Love just like you have never been unfriended. Sing like nobody is following. Share with others like you truly care. Do all of it as if it won’t end up on Whatsapp.”

• “It’s okay to forget the things that hurt you in the past. But don’t ever forget the lessons it taught you.”

• “Love is nothing more than a word until you find that special someone to share it with.”

• “I only have 2 to 3 real friends. I just tolerate everyone else.”

• “My road to success seems to always be under construction.”

• “Every person knows how to love. But only a few people know how to keep the love alive with one person.”

• “If life scares you, you’re doing it right.”

• “It’s better to be alone than surrounded by people who make you feel alone.”

• “She’s so fake. Just look at the back of her neck. I’m willing to bet it says – Made in China.”

• “I never insult people. I only describe them.”

• “You get the most out of life when you start loving it as much as you love yourself.”

• “There would be no wars if women ruled the world. There would only be a bunch of countries who are jealous of each other and refuse to talk.”

• “Whenever I get a headache, I take 2 aspirin, and I keep away from children. That’s what the bottle says to do.”

• “Hey – I finally found your nose. It was over in my business again.”

• “The only difference between being genius and stupidity is that genius has a limit.”

• “If everything is going your way, then you’re going the wrong way.”

• “I’m not really online. It’s just an optical illusion.”

• “I really need six months of vacation – twice a year.”

• “Chaos precedes every great change in life.”

Guys, hope you will statisfied from this confidence status you will use it in your whatsapp status, facebook post,instagram caption or whatever you want to be use.

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Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton