400+ Funny Status for Whatsapp status in English [2019]

if you looking from some great funny status you will come in a good place here we have some all time collection of funny status that you will enjoy and you can also use for whatsapp status,facebook post & instagram caption.

Best funny status for whatsapp status ,facebook post & instagram caption

• I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

• 80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having brain.

• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

• I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

• The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”.

• The most debateable topic in are NEET & IIT

• If i have a power to ran this world then i give salary to student because their is no any torcher like study

• If you can’t convince them, confuse them
• Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.
• I can handle pain until it hurts.
• Even fools seem smart when they are quiet
• “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
• If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.
• Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
• A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
• If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
• Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an exampl

best funny status for whatsapp [2019]

•  God is really creative , I mean ..just look at me.

• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.

• I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.

• Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

• I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side now.

• Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

• I am not stubborn, I am just always right.

• Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

• I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.

• For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.

• The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

• As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools.

• When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.

best funny whatsapp status in english

• women is a mystery which still not solved

• sunday is the bestest of my whole life

• life is belong for only two things FOOD &SLEEP

• Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed. 

• Where there is a will, there are 100

• I need 6 months’ vacation, twice a year.

• If you can’t convince them, confuse them

• Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.

• I can handle pain until it hurts.

• Even fools seem smart when they are quiet

• “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

• If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

• Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

• A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

• If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

• Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.

funny staus for whatsapp status [2019]

• Take my advice — I’m not using it.

• I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.

• My job is secure. No one else wants it.

• For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.

• Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.

• My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.

• A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

• Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

• My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.

• hufff life boring without sleeping
• I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

• Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

• I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation… twice a year.

• I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

• I need Google in my brain.

• I like to hang out with people that make me forget to look at my phone.

• I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?

• I started out with nothing and i still have most of it.

funny status for facebook post [2019]

• I love my job only when I am on vacation

• Don’t Live Your Life on Assumptions!! They are Best kept for Physics and Maths!!

• If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now.

• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

• Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.

• It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative.

• The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*

• Life is Short – Chat Fast!

•  I Wonder What Happens When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day…

• Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

• People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…

• A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

• My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

• Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

• If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂

• The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.

• Light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak

• true friend don’t judge each other . they judge other people

• all my life i thought air was free..until i bought a bag of chips.

• I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

• 80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having brain.

• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

• I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

• The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”.18.

• we all have that friend who says i’ll be there around 7 and then shows up around 9

• My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

• I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.

• I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

• You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it…

• Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped..

• C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping

• Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

• If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

• Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

• If common sense is so common why is there so many people without it??

• I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

• I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi…

best funny status for instagram caption [2019]

• The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”

• Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you”d ordered that.

• If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.

• The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

• Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.

• I speak two languages, Body and English.

• How can I miss something I never had?

• I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.

• Kiss me and you will see how important I am.

• If you can’t find the key to success, change the damn lock.

• Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.

• Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want, men have to sleep with whoever lets them.

best whatsapp status in one line

• An ugly personality destroy a pretty face.

• I don’t need to explain myself because, I know I’m right.

• If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’.. It only means that you are ‘Above them’.

• People are like ‘MuSic’ some say the ‘TrUth’ and rest, just noise..

• When you care for someone, their happiness matters more than yours…!!

• Beauty is like Moon, looks much better at Night…

• The greatest pleasure in life is doing the things, people say you can’t

• The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

• Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want

• The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.

While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.

• Lovely days in my life: Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, Horrible days in my life: ONLY EXAM DAYS.

• Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear makeup and boys lie.

• If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS.

• Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpick?

• Sorry, I can’t hang out. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.

funny status on girl & boy in english [2019]

• Women only need 5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.

• Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.

• You and your rumors have two things in common, you’re both fake and you both get around.

• If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eye.

• I’m the person that the more you complain about me, the harder I’ll try to annoy you.

• Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left.

• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

• Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.

• If swimming is an exercise then why do whales are fat.

• “Always be true to yourself” because you only lie to others!

• You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.

• The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do.

• Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does.

• Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?

cool funny status for whatsapp status in english

• chilling is the best way then girlfriend

•  I’m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

• Style is a reflection of your attitude and personality.

• Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

• I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.

• Success is not easy and is certainly not for lazy.

• Every problem comes with some solution…If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s not a problem..!

• ‘Dream’ as if you’ll live forever.. Live as if tomorrow is last one…

• I wish I had ‘Google’ in my mind and ‘Anti-virus’ in my heart…

• Sometimes you need to maintain a distance to keep people close to you.

• I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.

• I wish I could record my dreams and watch them later…

• sleeping is better then having girlfriend.

• Some wise guy created Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature.

• I feel like I should clean the house, so I am going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes.

• People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow.

• People who write “u” instead of “you”. What do you do with all the time you save?

• Everything on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius.

• The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

• I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.

• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

• Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

• My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.

• I am so poor, I can’t even pay attention

• I have not failed, my success is just postponed for some time.

• One person’s LOL is another person’s WTF.

• I will be back before you pronounce afjkhnfknlfueufuancakhufhjcnk.

• Knowledge is like underwear, important to have, but not necessary to show off.

• Life is too short to update WhatsApp statuses.

hey, friends this is another status collection for your whatsapp status , facebook post & instagram caption or story

hope you will loved it. don’t foget to give you precious feedback

thanks to ..all